Beauty of Attachment & Detachment
Couple of days ago, I read an interview of Sudha Murthy ji
Though the article was way too old i.e 2001, but it amazed me to see how progressive her thought process was irrespective of how world portrayed the relationship between DIL and MIL.
When she was asked about how she was as mother-in-law, her response was,
“You have to ask my son-in-law and daughter-inlaw about that! My latest book "The Day I Stopped Drinking Milk" has been dedicated to Rishi and Lakshmi, my son-in-law and daughter-in-law, respectively.
I tell them that they do not have to make any adjustments for us.
It is we, the older generation, who should be making the adjustments.
Let’s never forget that we’ve had our innings and it’s now time for them to start and open theirs. We should make way for the youngsters instead of expecting them to come around to our ways.”
Not only this, she also talked about the law of detachment.
“I remain detached in the sense that I do not expect them to reciprocate my affection. Most importantly, I make a conscious effort, not to interfere or pass judgments on the lives they choose to lead.
My concern for my near and dear ones will not fade with my detachment. If you let go of the ones you love, they will never go away – this is the beauty of attachment with detachment!
I have learnt to love and let go.”
I guess that wisdom does not come so easily.
There are still many cases where mother-in-law interferes a lot in the lives of their kids, and it creates chaos.
While Mrs. Murthy has taken into account the view of MIL only, it takes sincere efforts from DIL too, to maintain harmony in relationship.
My Mom says, ‘In an argument between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the only one who suffers is that guy. He is stuck between his wife, and Mom.’
And yes it's true 😂
For any relationship to flourish, it requires efforts, adjustment, and ‘let go’ of the need to be always correct.
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